Longdrivers.com

Day 8 (Kuwait Airport)

I’ll close by saying thank you to the USO for making this trip possible.
For safety reasons, the USO does not promote all the celebrities that go
over and visit the troops, but I want you to know that many celebrities do.

To our  tour crew:

Kelly Tilghman (aka The Desert Fox) and Gunner Garrity (aka The Desert Igor)
from Golf Channel: I can’t wait to see the documentary you are making.
Kelly is a dynamic women that bleeds honesty and character. Gunner, how you
carried all that gear and worked so hard as producer, cameraman, sound guy,
etc., I’ll never know. Amazing.

Howard Twitty  (aka The Desert Sofa, because Howard was the one you wanted
to lean against for comfort during a helicopter ride): The PGA
Tour/Champions Tour player is the consummate pro. He was so genuine and
caring with the troops.  Howard never hit a full shot the entire week, but
his short game was magic and equalled every 380 yard drive we hit.

Donnie Hammond (aka The Desert Bone): The PGA Tour/Champions Tour player
does so much for these soldiers. I promise you Donnie smiled for 8 days
straight.

Victor Juhausz (aka The Desert Scribbler): Victor happens to be the finest
illustrator in the world. You can see his work in Rolling Stone, The New
Yorker, and for 13 years he’s been the illustrator for David Feherty’s Golf
Magazine column and his books.   Victor drew soldiers the entire week and
will be sending them these works of art.  Victor’s son is a Marine, so this
was a special week for him.

Brian Pavlet  (aka Dances with Camels, which David Feherty will have to
explain): Pav has been my dear friend and brother for 15 years.  Two years
ago I said I’d only go back to Iraq if Brian was with me.  We have done 300
shows together over the years, but I’ll always remember the 6 we did this
week.  Brian is the one guy who has to be yelled at to leave each
meet-and-greet, because he just doesn’t want to stop talking with soldiers.
More than his athleticism was on display this week, so was his awesome
persona.

David Feherty  (aka The Desert Farter): Wow, what a funny guy and giving
individual. He writes new pages to his amazing life story each day.  His
generosity with soldiers and the work of  his foundation is inspiring. The
mold is gone with this guy.

Rick Kell: The organizer of this trip and many others like it. Rick is a
remarkable guy who doesn’t let a single day go by without making a phone
call or doing something special to help a wounded warrior.

Jeff Anthony (aka The Desert Shaft, because of his striking resemblance to
Isaac Hayes): Our tour guide gave me an education on what is really going on
with this war, an education you won’t get in a classroom.  He’s become my
new world history professor.

Feherty coined me, at various times, the Desert Shrek, the Desert Rabbi, and
the Desert Ambien.  David said he had devised a simple strategy for our
group — if we got captured he would tell them I’m Jewish, then everyone
would be released but me!

This was an amazing week, one I will never forget. I’m so glad to have had
the honor to visit our troops again.  God Bless those who wear the uniform
and protect our country,

Art

Day 7

We woke up around 0600, gathered our stuff, ate breakfast and headed to the
flightline.  Today we are in the hands of the Japanese Air Force on a C130
transport.  We’re leaving Baghdad at 0920, heading back to Kuwait, where
we’ll have an 8-hour layover at a hotel before the flight back to the
states. I calculate it will be 40 hours door-to-door from Camp Victory to
D/FW International Airport. There are soldiers on-board with us, all of whom
are heading home.

Our original security detail meets us in Kuwait.  I was so glad to see them,
because it meant I wouldn’t be needing to wear the 40-pound body armor and
kevlar helmet any longer.  We of course went to the DFAC (Dining Facility)
one more time, then found our luggage.  We headed to the hotel to get some
rest.

Our group has been amazing.  I guess if you want to get to know who somebody
really is, go with them on a USO tour for 8 days in Kuwait/Iraq. You will
find out what they are all about. We have gone through an emotional
roller-coaster together, bearing witness to things you can’t imagine. The
men and women in the armed services are a special breed, they care so much
for the safety and security of our country.  Every day, these soldiers see
memories of 9-11, the day that changed the world forever. They don’t want to
see that happen again.

We gathered in the hotel lobby around 9:30 p.m. Just as we were leaving for
Kuwait International airport and our 12:40 a.m. flight home, Senators John
McCain and Joe Lieberman arrived at the hotel.  These U.S. political leaders
were coming to visit our troops in the field and meet with the top brass. We
signed some team posters and golf hats for them.

At the airport, we say our good-byes to the security detail. They’ve been
awesome and taken great care of us.

It is time to get back to reality.  My wife Chelly, son Zachary and daughter
Hannah spent another Thanksgiving holiday week without me.  They know the
purpose of the mission and supported my decision to go.

I can’t wait to see them tomorrow afternoon.

Day 6

We arrive at the recreation track at 0845 for a 9 a.m. show. It’s pretty
cold and a muddy mess, but there are troops waiting for us and golf balls to
be hit.  As usual, we are hitting on a dirt pad. We have rubber tees and 10
dozen Pinnacles ready to hit over the walls into nowhere.

After some fun shots and long drives, we see a procession of vehicles coming
down the road. The troops encourage us to try and smash golf balls into the
armored Humvee’s or MRAP “Buffalo” units. There isn’t an IED that can blow
this machine off the road, so a Cobra 6.5 driver and a Pinnacle golf ball
can’t do too much damage.

It’s not easy hitting a driver 160 yards in the air under 15 feet at a
moving target.  Pav gives up after one swing, this is not his game. His game
is hitting 375 yard towering drives, ball after ball after ball.  I like to
practice hitting low shots (though never at vehicles) so I give it a try.
After a couple dozen unsuccessful attempts, the Sergeant Major takes pity
sets up a stationary target. They put everything in place and, after much
encouragement, I hit a perfect heater that takes out the only exposed part
of the vehicle. The driver’s side mirror shatters and we find dimples
indented in the casing around the mirror.  The USO staff photographer
captures the whole deal. I can’t wait to post these photos.

The morning flies by as we visit soldiers. We let them hit balls, give them
tips, sign hats for them. Donnie Hammond visits with Billy Soutra, who works
with the canine explosive detection team.  Donnie had met Billy earlier and
convinced him to come to the show with his dog.  Billy, 22, joined the army
because growing up he wanted a dog and wasn’t allowed to have one.  The day
he turned 18, Billy enlisted and trained to be in this special division.
Billy’s dog is a purebred black german shepherd; they watched every swing we
took.

After the show, the base commander escorted us into some very high security
tents.  Another logistics center that was computer and screen heaven.  We
spied a banner on the back wall reading  “WHO ARE WE HUNTING TODAY?”  This
operation feeds communication across the entire region, including
Afghanistan, on the whereabouts of terrorists. I start to talk to a soldier
from Texas and he informs me of his schedule: he works 12 hours a day and 7
days a week,  sitting right there in front of 3 screens.  Fighting the
Digital War.

Each of us receives a special commemorative coin from the base commander. I
have more than 25 of these now and it gives you chills every time you
receive one.

We grab a quick lunch, which for Feherty consists of 5 scoops of vanilla ice
cream, then head to the flightline.  We climb aboard Blackhawk helicopters
and take a 50-minute trip up to Baghdad and Camp Victory/Liberty.  We headed
back to Sadaam’s old palace, something I have been looking forward to this
entire week.

We are met by a large security detail and ushered straight to the Lankford
Driving Range, named after a fallen soldier.  It is showtime at 1530 for Pav
and me. We decide to really go after it. The wall at the back of the range
is 280 yards away so every swing is leaving the yard.  We also leave our
remaining golf balls and clubs for their inventory. Incidentally, rules of
the range in Baghdad are simple: you can hit 3 days a week for 20 minutes
each time, then you must go out and pick up a full bucket of balls in the
field.

We begin the show with 90 minutes of daylight remaining. Over my left
shoulder are the former palaces that belonged to Sadaam’s sons.  They have
been destroyed.  Straight away is his palace and to the right are several
more.  Coalition forces now use these palaces as offices and living
quarters.

With Feherty on the mike, we cut loose. It is one thing to hit at a long
drive contest with cameras and lights; it’s another thing when you have
100-plus soldiers, wearing weapons, screaming at you to go deep. You tend to
get some adrenaline going.   Brian is hitting the ball like I haven’t seen
in years.  Laser straight and at least 370-plus carry.  We close the show
with another Feherty crotch shot, then hitting a ball through 1/2 inch
framed door. Now it’s time to let the soldiers have the tee for their own
long drive contest.  It’s been a great afternoon and even more special
because we leave behind thousands of dollars of equipment and some memories.

After the show our group heads to a  reception where we meet General Stein
(single star), as well as the man in charge of the entire war on terror,
General Raymond T. Odierno (four stars).  He was so gracious in thanking us
for being here and told us he was really glad we had stopped at Walter Reed
Hospital to see the wounded, because his son was wounded in action and lost
a limb.

It’s hard to describe what it was like talking with General Odierno.  He had
“leader” written all over him. He was so professional and businesslike.
After he was told I brought over 400 letters from my daughter’s school for
the soldiers, he arranged to have a flag from the base sent to her school’s
principal in honor of their effort.

We were told he would be with us for 15 minutes; sure enough, at that exact
interval he left with a large security detail. General Stein then presented
us with another coin, and David Feherty spoke on behalf of our entire group.
Most of the time he’s all fun and games but tonight David spoke passionately
from his heart about how much he cares about America.

Tomorrow we begin the long journey home. What an incredible day this has
been.

Day 5 — Balad Airbase, Iraq

It’s raining and cold, not a good combination in the desert when they have no drainage. It’s a muddy mess.

We start the day off with Public Affairs interviews for the Armed Forces Television Network, which is a doing a TV show about our mission. The USO should be commended for what it does. All of the missions and tours like ours are funded by private and corporate donations. The USO works in concert with the U.S. Army’s MWR (Morale Welfare and Recreation) command.

After the interviews, we are taken to the Balad hospital. It’s the largest military hospital in Iraq. Two years ago it consisted of a group of tents; now it’s a substantial building that looks like a major hospital.

During a bit of down time we meet with surgeons, nurses, administrators and logistics personnel. They show us the helipad where more than 20 choppers can land. We walk down Hero’s Highway, where they take wounded soldiers off the choppers into treatment. The ceiling of the walkway has a 15-foot-wide American flag. Soldiers see this image as they are wheeled in.

They tell us some amazing facts:

*they have a 96 percent survival rate

*treat any Iraqi or multinational for any inury

*they treat insurgents, who are blindfolded and guarded by soldiers then taken to an interrogation room after they are stabilized

*they can start any surgery within 3 minutes of a patient’s arrival

*patients stay less than 30 hours on average before being flown to a military hospital in Germany and then back to the states. Transport planes are equipped with ICU units.

It’s a difficult visit to the Balad hospital, very somber and real. As a chopper lands, young kids are crying in the hospital.

After the hospital tour, our group separates. Me, Pav and Feherty are taken to the Army Ranger Battalion quarters. We turn a corner and see a nice deck and hitting area. It’s been named the “Tiger Woods Driving Range” and features the “John Daly Pro Shop.”

We stock them with several dozen Pinnacles, Titleist NXT Extremes and Cobra clubs. Of course, it’s hitting time. Yes, it’s raining and miserable but they want to see if we can hit it through their net. After more damage and an hour of lessons we move on.

BTW, I can’t describe Feherty comments and his sense of humor. He’s the funniest guy I’ve ever been around. It’s relentless and from the cuff, he holds nothing back. His color commentary and jokes are just what the troops want to hear. Feherty is so proud to  be, as he puts it, “Almost an American”.  In fact, he has applied for U.S. citizenship and is waiting for the paperwork to go through.

The unit we are with operates the anti-missile system around the base. There are 8 weapons systems that pick up missiles, mortars and anything else that is headed near the wall. We are taken into a classified logistics room where we fight a digital war. Computers are everywhere, that’s about all I can say. These guys are focused on 24-hour alert playing a real-life video game. They control a weapon called Hell Fire. It shoots 20 califer bullets at a rate of 3000 per minute. You heard correctly. We are taken to one of those mammoth weapons and meet the operator. They have named this colossal unit Oprah. (They have names for all of them.) They show us video of it working and show us some of the mortars they blew up in the past. I’m just standing there and shaking my head in amazement at this technology.

We now go to the Combined Special Forces Operations Center.  We are briefed on this amazing operation. We meet all the men and women who fight the war digitally. There are hundreds of computers and screens everywhere. Intelligence is the key to taking care of these terrorists that are scattered everywhere around the region. I’m not allowed to say more than this about what we saw.

We are not done. It’s time to go see the soldiers at the USO rec room. They are watching Bill Murray in “Stripes”, so we grab a chair and watch with them. I venture off to a reading room where soldiers sit in a nursery-type setting and read a children’s book for their kids. Each session is filmed and a CD is sent to the soldier’s family along with the actual book. Kelly is crying as she watches one of the soldiers reading.

We are all numb from what we’ve seen today.

The day ends with an indoor putting contest on a makeshift three-hole course. It’s 9 p.m. and 100 soldiers are waiting for us. We each take a soldier for a partner and play a shamble for the three holes. After 20 times around the course I finally stop 4-putting.

Feherty and I are up to something. He’s on the microphone, letting everyone know we can’t leave the building until I hit a final tee shot. We have an exploding golf ball we’ve saved for this special occasion. Everyone else thinks it is real, and they want me to blast a ball through the sheetrock. I swing as hard as I can and we exit in a puff of smoke.

We’re back on the flightline by 10 p.m., awaiting a Chinook Chopper.  We’re heading to Liberty Base to catch a connecting flight to Camp Echo. We are worn out and it’s pouring down, but we soldier on. At Liberty, we climb aboard a Blackhawk helicopter and take a 50-minute flight to Camp Echo, arriving at 12:30 a.m. to a nice greeting.

What else is there to do but go to midnight chow? We’re exhausted, but not too tired to eat.

It’s been the most amazing day of the trip. We saw so much and the emotions were so high. We turn in  around 2:30 a.m., knowing we have to be up in five hours to get ready for another golf show at 0900 hours.

Operations Links — Day 4

Tensions are running high because of the tragic incident in India. The U.S.
Marines are transporting us today on a C56 Echo C Stallion Helicopter to
Altaquaddam Air Base, but as a safety precaution this will be our last day
flight. We are, as always, wearing our standard issue gear of body armour
and kevlar helmet.  MPs are with us the whole time.

At Altaquaddam, we receive a briefing from the base commander, a General.
It’s amazing to hear from him what is really going on with this operation.
I won’t get into how wrong all the information is that we hear in the
states.

It’s time to hit some golf balls.  More dirt awaits us, but this time it’s
blowing 25 mph downwind.  We put on a great show for the troops and Feherty
is digging our “zipper” shot so much he asks me hit one out of his mouth as
well. Why not? The General attends our show, a nice gesture with all that he
has on his plate.

Next stop is the Postal area, an enormous tent that handles all the mail
coming over to our soldiers.  We shake plenty of hands, take a lot of photos
and on we go.

By now, Feherty has given everyone a nickname:

Howard Twitty is the Desert Sofa (On a chopper he is the best guy to sit
next to);
Kelly Tilghman is the Desert Fox (Obvious Reasons);
Donnie Hammond is the Desert Bone;
Gunner (Golf Channel cameraman) is Desert Igor because he resembles Marty
Feldman;
Brian Pavlet is “Dances with Camels” ;
Feherty is the Desert Farter (if you ate 100 scoops of ice cream you would
be to);
I’m coined the Desert Shrek.

Speaking of Shrek, we learn from a colonel that the base has a pet donkey
named Smoke.  The donkey wandered in out of the desert and the troops
adopted him. The lowest ranking soldier has to clean his area each day and
wash him.  The donkey got the name Smoke because he eats every cigarette
butt he finds.

OK, back to our tour.  We go to the rec center for a meet and greet and now
it’s time for a surprise visit to the MRAP Unit.  This machine is 40,000
pounds of armour with immense firepower.  You should google this thing to
find out what it can do.  We stay in the bay and meet the soldiers that
operate these incredible machines.

Our last stop is watching a martial arts training class.  These Marines are
not going half speed, not at all.  It is something else to witness their
intensity and the workouts they do.

We’re back on the flightline getting set to take a C46 chopper to Balad, the
largest base in Iraq.  Remember, no more day flights for us. It’s really
getting cold and now it’s starting to rain.  We take off using full combat
maneuvers and firing flares in case a heat seeker is shot at us.

I’m sitting front left next to the gunner who has on his night-vision
glasses and is cradling a .50 caliber weapon.  The pilot takes some hard,
evasive turns and I suddenly realize I wasn’t prepared for that amount of
G’s.  It’s a harsh reminder that I should plan my meals a little better.

Balad is huge, some 60 square miles. The base also has the best
accommodations — what everyone calls the Iraq Hilton.  There are high fives
all around when our group realizes we have an indoor bathroom to share.

We have a big day tomorrow so I need to grab 5 hours of sleep tonight. Good
night, nurse.

——————————————————————————–

Operation Links — Day 2

We left the hotel around 9:30 am for our first stop, Camp Arifjan.  Seeing
all the new construction and development in Kuwait City was amazing.  The
area reminded us of Palm Springs.

At Camp Arifjan, we received a welcome briefing from Lt. Col. Rollie Miller,
who told us about the complete operation in Kuwait and its strategic
importance.  The report was absolutely nothing like we hear back home on the
network news.

We then headed to the dining facility for our first on-base meal.  Remember
the ice cream contest with David Feherty? I started today 8 scoops down,
determined to catch up.  Each DFAC (dining facility) has a large
Baskin-Robbins on site, and I quickly devoured 8 scoops just to make a
statement.  Feherty was unfazed. The man is not well and needs help. In the
last 24 hours, he has consumed 24 scoops of ice cream, plus assorted soft
serve.  Realizing Feherty eats nothing else and is on his way to more than
100 scoops, I conceded defeat. I paid off our bet and put the ice cream
binge behind me.

We then headed to Ali Al Salem (The Rock), a Kuwait airbase the U.S. uses as
a staging point to move troops and civilian contractors around the Persian
Gulf. We were briefed and given a tour.  The runways and hangars were full
of C17’s, C130’s, you name it.
The Rock also has a detection system for explosive devices.  We spent an
hour learning about this and watching a demonstration.

I was selected to put on the suit and helmet that detection personnel use to
check these explosives.  We were told the suit provides protection from
blasts strong enough to take out a Humvee. The suit weighs something like
120 pounds and it took three people to get me in it, after which I could
barely move.  (Feherty spontaneously gave me a kick right where it counts
but I didn’t feel a thing, being protected by solid steel. I think he broke
his toe, by the way.) Now the fun began. I was pushed to the ground and told
to roll over and get up. I did, but it took several minutes. We also found
out the detection protocol is to have robots go in first. Thank goodness.

Next we went to the flightline, met about 30 airmen and got the tour of the
C130 Hercules, the big hulk. After that it was off to dinner, where I had
normal food — a salad and some vegetables — and Feherty, true to form, ate
about 10 scoops of Baskin-Robbins. (I had two scoops for dessert.)

After dinner we visited with roughly 100 airmen at the game room, a large
facility on base where they hang out, shoot pool, watch TV, etc. We met
airmen from Abilene, McAllen and Dallas — great to see those Texans! Our
group gave away golf balls, signed golf caps, posed for photos and just
visited with the troops. A big thank you to Acushnet for sending Pinnacles,
Titleist NXT Extreme and Titleist hats. The Titleist hats were a big hit.

I also passed out 100 homemade holiday cards made by my daughter’s
schoolmates.  The cards were greatly appreciated. We left some golf clubs
for the guys to hit into nets and said our good-byes.  On the way out, Brian
Pavlet and I ran into a couple airmen that we met in Baghdad a couple years
ago.  That was really cool.

We leave early tomorrow for a destination in Iraq. We will have Thanksgiving
twice with the troops. When you are sitting around the dinner table back
home, take a few seconds to remember the 145,000 personnel in the Persian
Gulf and say a quick prayer.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Art

For the second consecutive year, Mike Gorton and Steve Griffith are the top two seeds for super senior division match-play after Tuesday’s elimination rounds at Mesquite Regional Park in Mesquite, Nevada.

Gorton, the 2007 RE/MAX world champion, secured the top seed with a drive of 387 yards in round seven of the modified double-elimination format. The LDA Hall of Fame member, who resides in Erie, Colorado, is a pro tour rep for Yonex.

Griffith, the 2005 RE/MAX world champion and 2007 runner-up, nailed down the second seed with a drive of 379 yards in the same round. Griffith, who lives in Hamilton, Ohio, is an elementary school teacher.

Kim Shearburn of St. Louis, Missouri, earned the third seed for Wednesday night’s finals, blasting a drive of 368 yards in round nine. Pete DeBoer of Palm Springs, California, drove 361 yards that same round to lock up the fourth seed.

Shearburn is an industrial distributor; DeBoer a small business owner.

Ted Fostey of Calgary, Alberta, had the longest drive of the day in the super senior division – 401 yards in round five.

SUPER SENIOR DIVISION

Qualifying Results

Mike Gorton 387 yards Round Seven (Winner’s Bracket)
Steve Griffith 379 yards Round Seven (Winner’s Bracket)
Kim Shearburn 368 yards Round Nine (Loser’s Bracket)
Pete DeBoer 361 yards Round Nine (Loser’s Bracket)

Semifinal Match-ups

(1)Gorton vs. (4) DeBoer
(2)Griffith vs. (3) Shearburn

In the RE/MAX WLDC senior division, Doug Penneman of Keller, Texas, earned the 48th and final spot in Wednesday’s qualifying rounds, with a resounding drive of 392 yards.

Penneman defeated Jeff Nichols of Tucson, Arizona, in a best-of-three-sets playoff.

Match scores were:

Nichols, 351, def. Penneman, 349;

Penneman, 362, def. Nichols, 354;

Penneman, 392, def. Nichols, 351.